Jonathan (4y 5m) and Jessica (19m) in their second school portrait setting

Just eight months on, and we have another set of school photos, this time with Jonathan in Reception class.  For the record, I was far less impressed with this photographer than with the one who did Jon’s nursery portrait.  (The guy who took that photo made it look so easy, and I have twice as much respect for his easy manner with children – it’s a gift!)

The latest school photographer didn’t seem to have any flair for interacting with youngsters, she wasn’t particularly quick off the mark with capturing her shot, and she didn’t have a helper either which made it all a lot harder for both of us!

For the shot above, Jon was quite delighted with having Jess on his back, but he quickly started wriggling madly from side to side, laughing crazily.  Good from the perspective of making Jess giggle, but not at all useful for focussing.  He wouldn’t listen to my pleas for him to stop, and the photographer’s response was to look hopelessly at me!

We did try other poses too, but the annoyance factor was definitely rising.  Jon took his opportunity to crawl off amongst the lights, wires and umbrellas behind the photographer giggling like a lunatic, and once we had him back, Jessica kept crawling towards me whenever I called out to get her to look at the camera.  (The nursery school photographer had a fluffy toy on a long stick which achieved smiles and attention in one – this one had nothing!)  Sigh.

I came out feeling shattered – not to mention guilty about the long queue of parents and children behind us who we’d kept waiting during all the mucking about – but at least we managed to salvage a picture.  Jonathan’s solo portrait (right) taken later in the day is actually a much better shot of him, but the price for one set is extortionate, never mind two.  So we took our hard-won combination photo, and here’s hoping next year’s will be easier!

It’s now two weeks since Jonathan started at school and although we’re still coming down slowly, the new term is well and truly under way.

The biggest difference for Jonathan is not having any days off.  His nursery slots which covered 2½ days a week meant that he was used to doing some “full days” away from home, but the relentlessness of the current 5-day week is definitely wearing him down.

The school day begins at 8:55 (in line with UK office hours of 9:00 – 17:00)  when the head teacher rings a big clangy bell in the playground for everyone to line up in their classes, and pick-up time is 15:00.  During these 6 hours, along with assembly, they have 4 blocks of “lesson” time allocated for various activities and an hour given over to lunch.

Apparently the Reception class get to do a lot of playing, and for the first couple of days Jonathan was very keen.  He wasn’t at all interested in taking the shorter days offered to us for the first, abbreviated school week, but by the time we got to the end of week 2, all he wanted was to come home earlier.  By the time week 3 started, all he wanted was a day at home.  Poor lad.

I can’t help comparing what Jonathan is experiencing with what I had as a child in SA.  I didn’t start until I was 18 months older than Jon is now, and for the first 2 years we only did 4½ hour days.  What is realistically added to a 4- or 5-year-old’s academic experience by making them stay at school for 6 hours every day?  I’m sure a more gradual introduction would be more helpful.

Okay, rant over…

Jonathan’s school is closer than his nursery, so we have more flexibility in how we get there.  Conveniently, one of the available routes is also one of the very few almost-level stretches that exist in Durham, so Jon gets the opportunity to use his scooter on our daily commute and he does rather enjoy that.  The 1.2 mile walk, done this way, takes about 25 minutes and when the weather is good it can be a very pleasant part of the day. (Pushing Jess in the pushchair without Jon, I can shave another 5 minutes off that time.)

Back in the holidays, when I was thinking ahead to the weekly school routine, I had certainly not planned on spending 90+ minutes of every day getting Jon to and from school.  However, the traffic outside the school is hellish, aggravated at the moment by an intense set of roadworks – just moved up to outside the school gate! – taking out half of the road and necessitating a traffic-light-controlled one-way system.  Result: for as long as this lasts, Jon and I are working on getting fitter.

At the moment a lot of the little ones are suffering with tiredness, and it does feel hard watching from the sidelines feeling a bit helpless as the system crunches over them.  But the teachers are relatively sympathetic to their plight and we’re watching keenly to see if some “breather” days will help out.

In the meanwhile, I think for at least some of the time, our little guy is enjoying being one of the school-going gang and we’re hoping he’ll make some friends to help him settle in more quickly!

Another year of watching you grow has sped by, watching extra complexity being added to your developing character.  At heart, still my delightful boy with a funny and charming nature, so considerate and always wanting to help – just occasionally hidden by a layer of 3-year old truculence.

Warring within are the spirits of independence and that of wanting to be babied as Jess is.  I love the way you suddenly need a hug (“hoog” in your developing northern accent) in the middle of doing something apparently unrelated and how you don’t squirm away from kisses and cuddles yet.  Lion and Muslin are still essential bedtime accessories.

One measure of mental development is your ability for wooden railway construction.  Learning from the best of course, over the months we’ve seen you take on board loops and bridges, struts, splits and joins, representing many hours of focussed building.  At any given time your bedroom floor is covered with a maze of tracks, imperilled by any of Jessica’s forays into your room.

There’s so much more for you to think about these days.  Along with heightened creativity (in building, not drawing) and imagination, come fears real and imaginary, and passion for issues that take on huge importance in the moment.  Tears are shed over not being the car “in front” when racing little vehicles to and fro on the low wall outside, buttercups must not be mowed because they are pretty, dogs and other animals should keep their distance, and injuries sustained during play are preferably neither discussed nor examined.

In a year, I’ve watched a pair of trousers go from resting on the ground behind your heels, to being on the verge of being retired.  Other more significant physical milestones include a complete goodbye to nappies, farewell to your high-chair, bib, car-seat and cot, and learning to ride a bicycle (with stabilisers).  More than ever a little boy.

We’ve noted how you love all things musical, enjoy planting things, and very much want things to be ordered properly, particularly clothes which need to “match” according to a fairly strict personal code.

Over the last year we’ve fitted in a holiday to South Africa (your 4th international trip), moving to Durham and changing nursery, all the while getting used to Jessica’s ever-changing presence, and muddling our way through potty-training.

My precious boy – it’s been a busy year in your life, and we’ve so enjoyed sharing it with you.  Happy birthday!

Pause momentarily for a sigh of regret at leaving that lovely place behind...

(For reference, that was a private nursery and we were funding Jon’s 4 hours a week ourselves with the aid of government child-care grants.)

Moving on though, and now that Jonathan is over three years, he’s entitled to 15 hours of free preschool education per week (during school terms), until he starts school.  As I write this, Jon is just over half way through his allotted quota of 3 terms i.e. one complete school year.

So far we’ve been very happy with the nursery school we found for Jon in Durham.  He gets his 15 hours over 2½ days a week – Wednesday afternoons, Thursdays and Fridays, and he really loves it.  I get the impression that he spends most of his time playing, but he’s picking up a lot of nursery rhymes (albeit with slightly haphazard wording), reinforcing his shape and colour recognition, and learning all sorts of random bits and pieces along with useful social skills.

This term (the second of the three terms that make up a UK school year), they are also slowly introducing the children to Jolly Phonics (the UK system for teaching young children to read) which uses some clever techniques on top of standard phonics.   Jon has showed some interest in this too and even recognises the text of his name now which is encouraging.

What depresses me a bit about the whole scenario, is that there is no consideration of “school-readiness” when it comes to moving onto primary school.  The hard-and-fast rule is that all children in Reception must turn 5 within that school year.  And since the year runs from September to August, the youngest children in the year will be those with Summer birthdays – June through to August – starting school at just over 4 years.  Which is where we’ll be in 6 months time…

It’s just an accident of birth really, but I feel that by picking such a very young age to start with and ignoring the fact that every child develops differently, all the advantages end up on the sides of the older kids in the class.  These children get extra time at nursery school (because they can start the term after they turn 3), and go onto school with the self-confidence of extra preparation on top of being physically and intellectually older.

Of course there will always have to be an age range in any class, and children at both ends.  But even ignoring the “readiness” angle, they all seem so small.  Perhaps aiming for an average class age of 5 years, not 4½ would be preferable.

Still, I have to put all these thoughts aside.  It’s hardly worth getting up on my soapbox about different levels of maturity in preschool children because there’s no way that any school will bend the rules to give my little fellow extra time to play and grow.  Sigh.  So in September, it’s off to Big School for Jon, and just like that our lives are going to be back on school timetables all over again.

Jessica (11m) and Jonathan (3y 8m) in their first school portrait setting

I’d completely forgotten that the photographer was coming to Jonathan’s nursery school on the day this was taken but fortunately we were there early for a change, and in clean clothes – no breakfast / sick-up stains visible!   Jon’s hair was all over the show but he endured me trying to flatten it while we waited.  The friendly photographer was great at setting up the shot (Jon was delighted at being able to hold Jess on his lap) and getting them both smiling, and I think the result speaks for itself. 

]]> http://blog.firstsolo.net/index.php/2011/03/my-little-angels/feed/ 3 http://blog.firstsolo.net/index.php/2011/02/work-of-art/ http://blog.firstsolo.net/index.php/2011/02/work-of-art/#comments Fri, 25 Feb 2011 20:54:43 +0000 Julie http://blog.firstsolo.net/?p=1536 Jonathan has never really been that interested in drawing.  Yes, he likes to pick up a pen and scribble from time to time, but it’s not something that he actively pursues, and if given the opportunity to draw, he’ll often turn it down.

His teachers have observed that while he’s quite manually dexterous with screws and small parts of toys, he’s awkward with pens/brushes and scissors.  Nevertheless, over the years, Jonathan has certainly created his fair share of artistic scribbles and pages dripping wet with thick layers of paint.

In all this, I’ve never seen Jon draw anything more recognisable than a circle and generally scribbling is the order of the day.  So the other day when I’d finally persuaded him to “draw” on a birthday card for his cousin, I was surprised when he drew a large shape and told me it was a racing car.  I suggested he add wheels, which he duly did, and then I suggested a driver.  When he produced something that looked approximately humanoid, I was blown away!  The steering wheel he added on his own initiative.

If you can’t see any of those features in the above drawing, here’s an annotated version:

Jon then went on to draw a red track and some sort of train perhaps over his car before getting bored and wandering off, leaving me to admire what is arguably his first proper drawing.

Jon hurrying into nursery on his first day

At the beginning of the current school year (i.e. back in September 2010 for all the non-UK readers), Jonathan started at his new (and much larger) nursery school in Durham where he goes 2½ days a week.

His strong desire to be around other children (even if he hardly ever gets to know any of their names!) and his love of the nursery’s vast toy collection has meant that he’s always been very happy there.

He seems to have two favourite activities: riding bikes in their big outdoor area, and eating lunch.  The latter is done on his 2 full days when he takes a packed lunch -it’s like a picnic!- and eats in the Lunch Room with other full day children.

The subject of potty-training is a delicate one and reflects Jon’s strong desire to be independent and to keep some things private as well.  He doesn’t respond well to us asking him if he needs to go, so clearly the win-win situation would be if he just decided to go to the toilet all by himself.

The catch is that he hasn’t reached the stage (even after all this time!) where we can just leave it entirely to him, because he’ll often get caught up in something and try to ignore the bursting sensation until the inevitable happens.  So we have to ask.  Which generally seems to increases his determination not to go.  So we have to wait a bit and ask again, more assertively.  And so on.

(Fortunately Jon doesn’t have any problem with his teachers at nursery making suggestions about a toilet break to the room at large, so we haven’t had any accidents there for a very long time.)

Jonathan preparing "the words" before playing the piano

When it comes to toys, Jonathan is very much the boy cliché.  He’s quite a train fanatic but really anything with wheels, wings or rotors will do fine.  Lately he’s developed an appreciation of puzzles – Thomas the Tank Engine ones are his favourite!

A slightly unusual fascination is Jon’s love of all things musical.  He will play with electronic toys that play tunes / make noises long past the expiry of any standard attention span, and will jump at the chance of making music.  (I hope that we can persuade him to try it out some proper music-making when he gets older!)

Jonathan (3.5years) with Jessica (9m)

Arguably one of the biggest changes in Jon’s life over the last 6 months – aside from moving to Durham – is Jessica’s inclusion in the family and the changing format of that as she grows.

Jon is very fond of Jess, and long may this last once she’s able to move around more swiftly and nick/break his toys.

He enjoys having her company when he’s playing and has been heard to say “I loves Jess very much”.  Not always borne out in his actions, but we’re grateful that the thought is there!

Now that Jonathan’s talking is fully developed, the questions are never-ceasing.  Some of them are quite deep, and others just need to be asked straight back at him to halt the silliness.  It’s great to be able to have a proper conversation with him, the only drawback is that Jon doesn’t multi-task at all.  So if it’s time to get shoes on and go to nursery, getting into questions about why one needs to wear shoes to go out, and what day is it today, and why does he eat lunch at nursery is a sure-fire way to be very late indeed!

Jonathan is a complicated little guy who can be charming, sensitive, helpful, funny and exasperating in equal measures – probably not that different to plenty of other children his age.  And like all the other parents, at the times when he’s driving us to distraction with his stubbornness and refusal to listen to logic, we need to do our best to grit our parental teeth and remember how much we love him.

Our lovely boy at a photo shoot we had done in SA last year

Jonathan at his old playground in London in December

Jonathan was 3½ at the end of December and from the date on this entry, it’s fairly clear that this has taken me a long time to write.  I can certainly blame the delay on general busy-ness of day to day life, but also, this has been a harder entry to write because Jon’s a lot more complex than he used to be even 6 months ago.

Admittedly a lot has changed in Jonathan’s life in the last half year.   And in turn he’s responded and changed and grown himself, becoming easier in some respects, harder in others as you’d expect.

Jon very happy munching a piece of cake

There are so many ways that Jon is still easy.  One of these is eating.  He’s got a great appetite, loves most food and the fixation he had on it as a baby hasn’t gone away, but now he can put words to it.  “I hungry Mummy.”  Always interested in what we’re going to eat and (now that we eat at college occasionally) where we’re going to be eating it.

The bits where Jon is not easy around food, is all to do with his determination to be independent at seemingly random times!  E.g. wanting a particular food that isn’t available, and refusing to have anything else.  In these instances he can be amazingly stubborn; almost – but not quite – to the point where he will lose his meal to the cause!

Not much has changed with sleeping either.  Jonathan’s a reliable sleeper who is seldom disturbed by anything.  Getting him sleeping after lunch though has become a rare treat – it started dying out around the time we introduced a bed, but we keep an firm grip on the “Quiet Time” session that replaces it.  In this time, generally an hour to 90 minutes, Jon plays with toys in his room and can usually be persuaded to be quiet enough not to wake sleeping Jess next door.

Railway track constructed during Jonathan's quiet / nap time

Somehow, without very much enforcement, we’ve naturally evolved into a situation where Jon believes quite firmly that, once put in his room to sleep, he must stay there until we release him.  This obviously precludes going to the toilet in the middle of the night so will have to change in due course, but for now, it’s very handy.   Playing quietly in his room if he wakes before us in the morning is definitely the ideal state of affairs!

While Jonathan seems to enjoy his own company, he also loves being around other children.  Not in the sense where they try to share the things he’s playing with, but if they could be around and playing alongside with things he’s not interested in, that’s great.  This can be witnessed on an almost daily basis where Jon will be very keen to play with his scooter in the courtyard out the front if – and only if – there is at least one other child playing outside already.  Otherwise, he’d rather be indoors.

Once Jon has got to know another child on a one-on-one basis, he forms a much stronger bond with them and is more animated than usual in their company.  In London we had a number of these little friends but one of the changes for Jon since we’ve moved to Durham is the loss of this social circle.  It’s definitely harder with his new nursery being bigger, and us not having a permanent church community while Tom’s training, but for now Jon’s list of close friends is rather short and it’s hard to know how to fix that.

I’ve done a little casual researching and there seems to be some dispute as to precisely what the local accent, here in Durham, is known as.  A bit further north in Newcastle you would call it Geordie, and over in Sunderland to the east, it’s Mackem.  And while there are people who argue vigorously that the Durham accent is one of these two, there’s still another group of people who say it’s more of a Middlesbrough accent.  Anyhoo, let’s just call it Northern for now.

Personally, I’ve not had much difficulty with understanding the locals in Durham, but the differences in how they sound was brought home to me recently by something Jon said.

We had Brian the maintenance man over to do a few things on the house, and one of his jobs was going to be filling in a hole in an exterior wall with some foam.  “I’ll just be going out to the van to get some foam”, Brian informed me.  Except that with his northern accent, he didn’t say what we’d recognise as “foam”, he said “form” or maybe “fohm” if you wanted to sound it out.

I went back to my washing up, and Jon, who’d been following Brian around ever since he arrived, hung back by the kitchen door.  Then he said “Mummy, what’s ‘fohm’?  What ‘fohm’ Brian get from his van?”

Smiling to myself, I explained that this was Brian’s way of saying “foam”.

There was a pause and I could see all this processing in Jon’s head.  Then trying out the word himself, “fohm… fohm”.

And while watching him, along came the thought that young Jon will soon be flavouring his immature accent with a sprinkling of northern…

There’s a lot of different opinions about the best times to make the transfer from cot to bed and everyone’s experience varies.  In our case, we did experiment with taking the side off Jon’s cot quite a while ago, but aside from the odd time when Jon was exhausted and fell asleep straight away, it generally meant that he’d be at his bedroom door about 10 seconds after we closed it.  Sigh.

So the side went back on and I came to the conclusion that this was just as well, because the plan was to have him sharing a room with Jess, and having Jon confined to a cot seemed a wise move under these circumstances.  (Not that Jon can’t get out of his cot if he puts his mind to it, but he is slightly reticent about the drop once he’s on top of the bars!)

But then came the big change with moving to Durham.  Suddenly we had an extra room and a requirement for guest beds.

We decided that bunk beds would fit the bill nicely.  Ones that separate out into two single beds (our guest option) as well as giving Jon a huge incentive to move from his cot because he would now have a super-cool bed – with a ladder!  Without thinking too far ahead, I’d imagined that he would sleep on the top bunk (which was indeed exactly what Jon wanted to do) but this was subsequently revised after considering potential injuries from falling -in his sleep- from that height.  (Yes, I know there are railings, but still, he’s little!)

We have since told him that he needs to “practise” sleeping on the bottom bunk before we let him try the top one.

There was some initial disappointment when the top bunk arrived damaged, and had to be replaced, then lost by the courier company, then replaced again.  But at last it was all together, assembled by Daddy, and ready to be slept in!

The bedtime routine was immediately adjusted to have bedtime story on the TOP bunk, but when it came to the sleeping bit, Jon preferred to retire to the space he knew in his cot.  We didn’t push him too hard.  We left the side down on his cot, and on the days he did start off in the bed, he and the toys would all be in the cot by the time he went to sleep.   He did rather like demanding the bed option for his lunchtime “nap” (read, “quiet time”) because that freed him up to wander around the room!

This went on for a few days.  Then Jon got a cold and Mum and Dad decided he needed to actually sleep during his lunchtime nap because he was clearly under the weather.  So we warned him not to get out of bed, and when we caught him roving about, he was put in his cot.  Where he cried himself to sleep.  That night, suddenly Jon didn’t want to sleep in his cot – aha, break through!

That was the first night that we found Jon asleep in his bed.  But in the morning, he was back in his cot.  Ho-hum.

Still, it was the first milestone, and the next day he fell asleep on his bed at lunchtime (picture on the right).  Then that night, he slept in his bed the whole night through!  Hurrah!  Now we use the threat of going back to the cot to discourage getting out of bed (or at the very least, to stop him opening his door!).